Pregnant stripper...not hot.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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