Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
