Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
