I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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