So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
