i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize