All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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