You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
