It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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