youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
