I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
