Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
