You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
