I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
