David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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