Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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