omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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