Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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