I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
