I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize