return my video game
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
