Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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