Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
