this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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