Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
