I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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