I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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