so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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