apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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