I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize