I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
