We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
