She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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