jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
This is the high leading the old right now
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
The Olympian is in my bed
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