Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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