I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Randomize
