Fine. I'll sleep in my office
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
