I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
