we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
