Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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