you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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