there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
