some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Never underestimate the power of titties
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
