Non-Jews are for practice
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
