Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
