It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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