Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Randomize
