I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize