i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
