She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
