let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Randomize
