I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
