How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
