Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
