what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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