Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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