I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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