I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I cockslap morals
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
