Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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