Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
