I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
