Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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