so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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