I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
