Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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