Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize