So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
