my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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